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MySpace Ate Me.

It did, I swear. That's why I was posting on there and not on here. Even though this is actually kind of prettier than MySpace 'cause it doesn't have the messed up stupid tables. Ech. Anyway.

I have a job interview tomorrow and I should not be awake still, I hafta go to bed.
  • Current Music
    Jezebel by Chely Wright
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Creation... Gone Astray

Witch's Creation Myth

I was trying to write the rather typical Witch's Creation Myth... But it went a little astray towards the end. I've been checking out too much of Duo Dark Shinigami's gallery on Deviant Art too much, I guess. If you want to see what inspired the ending check out his fantastic, fantastic artwork at: duodarkshinigami.deviantart.com

Creation... Gone Astray

Beyond the veil of the mists of time there was a great nothing and everything, for this far beyond the veil nothing was everything and everything was nothing. This greatness took form and it developed a consciousness, or else the sleeping consciousness of the greatness awoke. Two things motivated this consciousness and one was curiosity. Where am I? Who am I? How did I come to exist? Why am I here? What can I do? There were no answers to these questions, for such things did not exist. The other motivation for the great consciousness was loneliness. It was alone. It solved loneliness by dividing itself into two equal beings. It had never known the thought that it could not do such a thing, so what was to stop it?

These beings were opposite and the same. Still, they were so much the same and it displeased them. Only two beings existed, a part of the great consciousness more than they were separate from the great consciousness. They did not know separate thoughts or actions. In action as well as in thought they were as one. They endeavored to create beings that were not alike, that were not as one. And in the two original beings came the beginnings of the ideal of diversity. So, the two beings created more like and unalike themselves and the great consciousness. They imagined into being other things and creatures. They created light and dark, taking it from themselves in its purest forms. One could not exist without the other and where you found one you could always find the other. Things that came to be were elements such as earth, air, fire, and water. They also created metal, wood, wind, and lightning.

The great bodies of earth became the collective body of the Goddess, and the great waters of these bodies of earth became her womb. The Goddess, for one of the original beings was the embodiment of femininity, created with her Consort things that pleased her. They were light, dark, and every color in between. These new creatures flashed and glittered with brilliance, but they were raw and knew only to please the Goddess. The God, that which was masculinity, made things of strength and protectiveness. But these creatures would do anything to please him. These new creatures were more separate from the great consciousness and still apart of it, as all things were and would always be, but they were not so separate from their creators that they were capable of separate thought.

The two original, great beings wondered. They asked themselves, if we were to create children different from ourselves, creatures that were other, would they find their way back to us? Or would our children become better than we are? Could they, would they, teach us? The God and Goddess truly loved their children so they decided to let them go. They cast their thoughts far and wide and created the universe, as it once was, wide open and empty. They filled it, slowly but surely, with homes for their children and places to explore. Of these companions there were adversaries, to challenge them, and friends to help them succeed. Through it all, the God and the Goddess watched over their children and the worlds they had created for them.

The first lesson the God and Goddess learned was that they could not interfere in the daily lives of their children. The God gave to his follower’s many miracles and promises. He gave unto them another child, a blessed son. It was a time when the blind were given sight and the waters parted for those who sought freedom. The Goddess did so as well, blessing a daughter and giving unto her the greatest knowledge and power of magic and herbs. But gifts given unearned were false and not worth treasuring. How could their children grow if their parents saved them from every challenge? The God and Goddess wished for their children to grow and be strong. They wondered if their children would become more than they had ever dreamed, but their children could not grow at all if their parents did not let go enough for these children to blossom on their own.

So, for many years the power to heal the sick and part the waters became quiet, as the God commanded. The greatest knowledge was lost in the sands of time, as was the will of the Goddess. But this power and that knowledge was not lost forever, in time the children of the God and Goddess earned back the things they had lost. Over time the knowledge of magic and plants returned to the children. The waters became as much man’s roads as the land had been. And the day came that modern science could heal those who could not see. But as with all knowledge and power there was a price. The cost of that knowledge was the innocence of the children. The price for that power, the power to be independent of their creator’s was that the children of the Goddess and the God grew distant from their parents.

I was here for all of it. Well, most of it. I was created soon after life began. I was one of the first creations of the Goddess and the God. When they created Life they also created Death, in order to keep the universe balanced one must be there to meet the other. I am a grim reaper, a pale death, one of the rider reapers. I am an ignoble lord, a heathen priest, and a servant to Death. I am one of the spawns of Death. In my former days I simply slaughtered those who were going to die and helped guide the wandering souls of those who sought the other side. Those were the days, the golden years, for those like me. Remember, I told you about those times, when divine gifts were given too freely by those who created us. Ah, well, that is what has past. Whatever my nostalgia is with those times, and I think it is the simplicity of my former existence; I am still fascinated by the modern world.

My pale hand, with its long inhuman nails, trailed down along the side of the woman’s cheek. I don’t dare touch her, but I can stroke her energy, her life. She is pale, as well, but it is a pale white. My more demonic form, I suppose you could call it, is a pale blue like the dead. Her skin is like strawberries and cream to my eyes. That pink is the blood running beneath her skin, warmed by her life force. She doesn’t know my demonic form. But she knows me. As a human she knows me very well, indeed, and the more she knows of me the more fascinated I have grown. My fascination with the modern world is not so much its marvels as it is the growth of myself. My fascination is this mortal. My fascination is... My fascination is my love, something I had not known before. Not like this. Not like her.

She stirs in her slumber, not physically, but her essence stirs at my touch. She senses my presence. I await her response, knowing but not yet believing what it will be. I have spent many nights by her bedside, even a few days when she brushed my master by a little too closely for my comfort. She responds differently than most. Most recoil from my presence, knowing that a priest of Death is no one to be near. She is not a typical mortal. She is my love and I think her soul knows that, and perhaps she feels as I do? Maybe that is why she warms to my touch, why she moves closer. Her essence wraps around mine. Whether she knows it or not she pulls me closer, even as my better sense tells me I should not answer the call of her bright, sweet soul.
  • Current Music
    Raspberry Beret - Prince
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Do You Dream?

Just Like A Pixie

Blue eyes so icy they will burn you all
Smile with a dangerous razor's edge
Walking on that razor of ice you fall
Into her eyes as you hear her allege

A laugh with her head thrown and back you see
She is all she pretends to be and more
With a name like herself, just like a Pixie
Ignore her for there will be no encore

Nothing is ever as it seems with her
And yet everything is still all too true
Everything you see in eyes of azure
Yet you realize when she says adieu

Sleep will prove all of this to be a dream
Some fantasy of an extra moonbeam
  • Current Mood
    awake awake - more's the pity
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I Love You Part 2

I love you.
Having known you,
Having seen you,
Having heard you,
Having touched you,
I love you.

Love me, as a knight.
With a true soul,
With my loyal heart,
And my eternal love.
My soul is yours.
That's how I love you.

Love me, as a father.
With the bravest soul,
With my honest heart,
And my forgiving love.
My heart beats for you.
That's how I love you.

Love me, as a ghost.
With my departed soul,
With my disillusioned heart,
And my forever love.
My love was always for you.
That's how I love you.

My sleeping dreams are of you.
My waking thoughts are of you.
Love me, I beg of you.
Love me as witch and husband.
  • Current Music
    Tim McGraw - Just To See You Smile
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I Love You Part 1

I love you.
Having known you,
Having seen you,
Having heard you,
Having touched you,
I love you.

Love me, as a maiden.
With the purest of souls,
With my trusting heart,
And my innocent dreams.
My soul exists because of you.
That's how I love you.

Love me, as a mother.
With the most dedicated of souls,
With my nurturing heart,
And my protective love.
My heart beats for you.
That's how I love you.

Love me, as a crone.
With my wise old soul,
With a jaded heart,
And my final love.
My love is for you.
That's how I love you.

My sleeping dreams are of you.
My waking thoughts are of you.
Love me, I beg of you.
Love me as witch and wife.
  • Current Music
    Phil Vassar - Good Ole Days
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Forgive me.

Forgive me.

I know I was very careless, and with you heart, the heart that loves me so well. I am so very, very sorry. It was a stupid thing to say. My hurt just got in the way. I only wished that I’d stopped and thought for a moment. If I had, I’d have remembered that you are my best friend and loving you is more important than being angry with you. But I didn’t use my head and now I need to ask you to forgive me for my unkind remarks.

If I’m sorry isn’t good enough for what I shouldn’t have said, I hope you’ll understand that I’m no good at this. You deserve better and I am not better. Look past my words, if you can, and see the reason they were spoken with such haste. You are used to a lot of things that aren’t good for you, I think. I don’t want to become one of those things.

I love you.

[He knows who he is.]
  • Current Music
    Mississippi Girl - Faith Hill
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And Falling Apart

The friendships people build up together take a lot of work. It will even require a lot of work still, if they are to make it last. A lot of work, and a lot of strength, and more trust than anyone can reasonably expect of another person is all very important. All of that goes into building what friendships we have. I don’t want to see any of that go to waste and I don’t think I’m the only one. So, cherish your friends, cherish your friendship with them, and do not hold hatred in your heart for those you once loved. Forgive yourself, forgive them, and if trust can never be restored, then move on. Do not let the ugliness in this world make you forget the beauty, for it is just as real.

Most of all I hope someday... I hope you'll understand.

I am a peculiar collection of characteristics both physical and mental that makes me completely unique. You'll agree that no one else anywhere is exactly like me because no one could be. My strength comes from the belief that someone, somewhere, can and will appreciate me for who and what I am. You are an important part of my life. The time we have shared will be a part of me for as long as I live. But we have shared so much more than just time, we shared laughter, conversation, and silence. You gave me reason to smile again and be excited about tomorrow. Now, when sadness surrounds me I will try to rejoice that you ever came to me all. What is good, that's what stays strong forever. Find something, hold on to it, keep it close forever. In the end, that's what matters.

Please, just... forgive me.

In my eyes, could you see, my need for you was different? The way I held you was different, as well. While we came together as friends, I was reaching out for a lover. I really don't understand why I feel this way, or, what this is all about; I only know that my heart tells me, with each and every pounding beat, that the special something about you... This could have turned into something very special for us but you do not feel the same way. Ask me why I keep on loving you when it's clear that you don't feel the same way for me. The answer is that as much as I can't force you to love me, I can't force myself to stop loving you. That is the problem. So, the knock at your door will happen less frequently. The phone will still ring, but you will find it is not me.

All of us are born with the need to share our lives with someone, to give the gift of ourselves to someone special to us. This need can only fulfilled when two people are both willing to meet halfway. So often when I have reached out, I have unwittingly offered that which I have to give to someone who has no need, or does not recognize the value, of my gift. Thus, in the past my gift goes unreceived, through no fault of my own. But just because somebody doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. I try to remember that and be grateful for what we've had together.

I will know love. No matter what circumstances the world may give me, no matter how many people choose to turn and walk away, someday, I will find love. In the laughter of children, in the gentleness of animals, in the beauty and glory of nature, and in the sure knowledge of myself I will know love. And when the day comes that I find someone who does not turn away, I will give all my heart. Someday I will smile and find the warmth of my smile reflected back to me. Someday I will reach out and find that I only have to reach halfway, for someone will be reaching out to me. Someday I will find the true meaning of the word love that many use so carelessly. Someday I will find someone with whom I can share myself. I wish it could have been you...

For always.
  • Current Music
    Lonestar - You're Like Coming Home
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Getting Together

1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

I am a peculiar collection of characteristics both physical and mental that makes me completely unique. You'll agree that no one else anywhere is exactly like me because no one could be. My strength comes from the belief that someone, somewhere, can and will appreciate me for who and what I am. You are an important part of my life. The time we have shared so far will be a part of me for as long as I live. But we already share so much more than just time. We share laughter, conversation, and silence. You give me reason to smile again and be excited about tomorrow. Now, when sadness surrounds me I try to rejoice that you have come to me. What is good, that's what stays strong forever. Find something, hold on to it, keep it close forever. In the end, that's what matters.

In my eyes, can you see, my need for you is different? The way I hold you is different, as well. While we have come together as friends, I am reaching out for a lover. I really don't understand why I feel this way, or, what this is all about; I only know that my heart tells me, with each and every pounding beat, that the special something about you... This could turn into something very special for us. So, if it is your wish, the knock at your door will happen more frequently. And the phone will ring and you will find it is me. My hope is that someday is truly today. Am I wrong?

All of us are born with the need to share our lives with someone, to give the gift of ourselves to someone special to us. This need can only fulfilled when two people are both willing to meet halfway. So often when I have reached out, I have unwittingly offered that which I have to give to someone who has no need, or does not recognize the value, of my gift. Thus, in the past my gift goes unreceived, through no fault of my own. Should I hesitate in my steps, should I walk when you bid me run, please understand. I’ve stumbled before. When you plunge into the water and you urge me to jump right in, please understand. I’ve strangled before. And in the heat of passion, should you bid me come to you, please understand. I’ve been…

Please, just understand.

I will know love. No matter what circumstances the world may give me, no matter how many people choose to turn and walk away, someday, I will find love. In the laughter of little children, in the gentleness of animals, in the beauty and glory of nature, and in the sure knowledge of myself I will know love. And when the day comes that I find someone who does not turn away, I will give all my heart. Someday I will smile and find the warmth of my smile reflected back to me. Someday I will reach out and find that I only have to reach halfway, for someone will be reaching out to me. Someday I will find the true meaning of the word love that many use so carelessly. Someday I will find someone with whom I can share...

Myself.
  • Current Music
    Garth Brooks - Much Too Young
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(no subject)

Well, I went to the doctor again today. I'm set to see her again on the 22nd (the day of my first class) a little after 9 in the morning. I've gone from seeing the doctor every week to seeing her every other week. I want not to have to see her at all! Wah. I like her and all, I just don't want to be sick. So, in the morning I go to the doctor's and in the afternoon (3) I go to my first college class, Biology. It will be a busy day for us.

I have to remember to get my schedule back on track by then. My sleeping schedule got all turned around when I was sick. Somebody remind me to go to bed at least by midnight that night! I hope Mark, doesn't keep me up chatting. My - what's the word? discipline? control? restraint? doesn't hold up so well around him.

Wish me luck, in health and in college.
  • Current Mood
    happy happy
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parable

And This Too Shall Pass

One day Solomon decided to humble Benaiah ben Yehoyada, his most trusted minister. He said to him, "Benaiah, there is a certain ring that I want you to bring to me. I wish to wear it for Sukkot which gives you six months to find it."

"If it exists anywhere on earth, your majesty," replied Benaiah, "I will find it and bring it to you, but what makes the ring so special?"

"It has magic powers," answered the king. "If a happy man looks at it, he becomes sad, and if a sad man looks at it, he becomes happy." Solomon knew that no such ring existed in the world, but he wished to give his minister a little taste of humility.

Spring passed and then summer, and still Benaiah had no idea where he could find the ring. On the night before Sukkot, he decided to take a walk in one of he poorest quarters of Jerusalem. He passed by a merchant who had begun to set out the day's wares on a shabby carpet. "Have you by any chance heard of a magic ring that makes the happy wearer forget his joy and the broken-hearted wearer forget his sorrows?" asked Benaiah.

He watched the grandfather take a plain gold ring from his carpet and engrave something on it. When Benaiah read the words on the ring, his face broke out in a wide smile.

That night the entire city welcomed in the holiday of Sukkot with great festivity. "Well, my friend," said Solomon, "have you found what I sent you after?" All the ministers laughed and Solomon himself smiled.

To everyone's surprise, Benaiah held up a small gold ring and declared, "Here it is, your majesty!" As soon as Solomon read the inscription, the smile vanished from his face. The jeweler had written three Hebrew letters on the gold band: _gimel, zayin, yud_, which began the words "_Gam zeh ya'avor_" -- "This too shall pass."

At that moment Solomon realized that all his wisdom and fabulous wealth and tremendous power were but fleeting things, for one day he would be nothing but dust.
  • Current Music
    Lorretta Lynn - Miss Being Mrs.
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